


Conversations

by candidkage



Series: Hell Verse [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Blowjobs, Fingering, First Time, Hell, Kissing, M/M, Season 3, Shower Sex, Top!Sam, Wincest - Freeform, bottom!Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 19:05:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8857282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candidkage/pseuds/candidkage
Summary: As Dean's deal comes to it's end, Sam decides that the best way for them fix things is to kiss.





	1. Part 1

It was down to the wire. With only a month left on Dean’s contract, both brothers found in them a tense awareness to every movement, every decision. Sam’s record kept skipping back at the end of “I’m going to save you” and by now Dean was pretty sure he wasn’t. He was pretty sure they both knew, but Sam held on to his sick belief in miracles, and in Ruby.

Bobby’s house was stuffy, and the last page Dean could read slipped through his fingers. He knew there were more words on Hellhounds, but the pillow under his arm was calling him to sleep. He shifted so that he could pull it under his head and sleep at the desk.

“Come on Dean, go to bed.”

Sam yanked at Dean’s shoulder, making him grunt and let go of the pillow and the book. They stumbled halfway to the bedroom together before Dean had command of his stability again. He stepped into the room ahead of Sam and began pulling at his shirt and jeans.

He was in his undershirt and boxers when he noticed that Sam hadn’t moved from the doorway. He glanced over with a squint only to be locked into an intense look he couldn’t quite place. Maybe it was something like a lost kid.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.” He immediately regretted that one and tried to brush over it with a smirk.

“Dean, I-“

“Sam, let’s not okay? I’m tired and I’ve had enough lore crammed into my head in the past day to digest for a week. I need to sleep.”

Sam paused as his mind warred with emotion.

“I just don’t know how I’m going to live without you here taking up space Dean.”

“Just drop it, we’ve still got time Sam and we both need rest. C’mon, get ready for bed. I don’t want to be the only one standing here in his underwear.”

Sam gave him more of his lost look, then conceded and pulled his shirt over his head. He didn’t move from his position by the bedroom door, and used his gaze to keep Dean from using any social transition to retreat from the corner in which he was placed.

Sam toed off his boots and unbuttoned his jeans. Dean felt immediately awkward that he was stuck there, watching Sam’s long fingers push his jeans to the floor and step out of them. He was then fixed with a determined pose from Sam. He didn’t have any energy for this right now.

“Okay, show and tell’s over. Go brush your teeth.”

“Dean, you know… you know how sometimes you want to understand someone, but you can’t quite get it?” It’s like Dean hadn’t even said anything.

“What Sam, do you want me to spill my ooey gooey insides for you? ‘Cause I’m tired right now, and getting cranky.”

“No, I mean talking doesn’t do it. Y’know? I just, Dean I just want to feel close to you.” Sam stepped forward. “I want to feel like I have more of a connection right now. Something to hold onto when… when you’re not here.”

“What’s closer than blood, Sammy? You know I’m always a part of you. We’re brothers.”

“Yeah, yeah I know that. But Dean…” This is when Sam began to stutter a bit, seeming at war with whether to step closer to Dean or to just drop it all together. Dean stood confused and annoyed, but was patient.

Sam stepped into Dean’s space. “I just, just let me try this for a second…”

Dean felt the heat of Sam’s hand grip his bicep. Sam’s skin against his own was a bit of a shock, but he told himself to read it as harmless. He just wasn’t used to touching Sam like this.

Sam looked questioningly into Dean’s eyes, and cautiously moved his hand over Dean’s arm. It was like he was savoring the touch, but of course was worried what Dean would do. Dean just waited.

“I’ll miss you.” And Dean knew what he meant. It shocked a rush of blood to his face as he tried to come up with something to shake the intimacy of the situation. Sam would miss his body; the space he took up. It seemed like a dangerous thing to say.

“Sam, what are you trying to say?” Dean averted his gaze to the floor.

Sam answered by settling his hand lightly on Dean’s tricep and leaning in. “Dean, can we kiss?”

“What?” It was like he didn’t hear anything, and his gaze snapped back to Sam. The second it was said, shock took it away from memory and he had to ask again.

“What?”

“I just, I feel like maybe we could be closer if we kissed. I could understand what’s up with you, and you could understand what’s going on with me too.”

“Wha- Save it for the girls Sam!” His face was red now, he could tell. He knew Sam was looking at it, noticing it.

“Just- Just try it? If I’m wrong, we can stop. I won’t tell anyone, you know that. I wouldn’t want anyone to know either. I just, I think it might help us, okay?”

Dean left it to stew in silence. He couldn’t look at Sam, but he wanted to reply seriously… whatever that reply would be.

“Close the damn door. Bobby might be around.”

He looked surprised, but Sam hopped to the door and shut it kindly. By the time he had stepped up to Dean again, he was sitting on the bed.

“Sit with me, Sam.” So, no sleeping for a while yet.

Sam sat closely to him on the bed and leaned into his space. So much like a damned needy puppy sometimes. Too bad Dean found it endearing all the time.

“Sam, I’m not a girl and I’m not your girlfriend. Are we clear?” It’s like he had to draw a line in the sand, but he wasn’t quite sure what it was. Sure, he knew that physical intimacy could tell you more about a person than words could, but he wasn’t sure he was ready to open that part of him to anyone. Even Sam.

“Yeah, we’re clear. You’re my brother Dean.” Sam looked eager and Dean tried to ignore it. He tried to ignore that Sam was blushing even more.

“So, I guess now would be good.”

“Right.” And Sam leaned into Dean’s space, carefully kissing his lips to Dean’s.

At first Dean flinched, but Sam made up the difference in space. No sooner had a soft sound come from their parting lips, Sam dipped in for another. The second had them touching fully, and longer. Dean couldn’t hear or feel anything but their lips and his blood beating through his body. He felt frozen in space, almost unable to act beyond his mouth.

Sam’s breath soon became noticeable, ghosting across his upper lip as Sam settled, drew back, and pushed into him again. They were chaste kisses, sitting on the edge of permission. It almost blew Dean’s mind that he could even tell that Sam wanted more. He lifted his hand to stutter onto Sam’s shoulder.

Sam took the queue to lean in closer and stronger, forcing Dean to tip his head. He replied with his hand to dean’s neck, cradling him, and Dean opened his mouth. It was a small reply, but it allowed Sam to swoop in and slot their mouths together tightly.

Sam’s breath was hot, and his mouth was hot, and god he was even getting Sam’s saliva on his lips. It made Dean’s dick grow a bit in his shorts, and his brain forget a few important details. It had been too long since he was kissed, let alone had any intimacy with anyone. The year had started with a literal bang, but their stress had snuffed that burning candle quickly.

That tidbit of thought was wiped from memory as a soft request was made by Sam’s tongue against Dean’s teeth. Without any hesitation, Dean returned with his own, tagging Sam’s teasingly and closing his lips in a smack. A bit of a rush hit him with the act. It had been a while since he had teased Sam, and it felt as if they were sharing a joke.

Sam chuckled, pushing Dean toward the bed. His tongue licked against Dean’s lips, pushing them open and touching his teeth again. A shiver involuntarily passed through Dean, and he let himself lean into the sheets as he answered with his lips. Sam followed with his heavy frame.

Time was lost, and the world narrowed down even further to just their lips. They kept their tongues chaste, focusing on the smack of their mouths with their eyes closed. Dean still felt too hot to move. Sam’s breath had gotten heavier, and he could feel it weighing him down into the bed. The shifting of his brother’s shoulders told Dean that Sam was a bit more eager than he was.

When their hips met, a switch flicked in Dean’s brain and he ended it.

“I guess that’s the line then.” Dean muttered as he turned his head away from a reluctant Sam. Sam didn’t want to stop, but Dean did. He replied to Dean with a peck on the cheek.

“Thank you, Dean.”

It was almost like a sigh as Sam shifted backwards. Sam stayed by Dean’s side, both laying together halfway on the bed with their feet on the floor. The silence buzzed around them and Dean let his mind blank.

“Fuck, I’m tired.”

The frankness of Sam softened their intimate bubble. Despite knowing the line, Dean felt calmer too. Like he had shed some of his defensiveness towards Sam.

“Me too.” Dean paused before he lifted himself up and towards the bathroom. Switching on the fluorescent light and grabbing a toothbrush, he pondered at himself in the mirror. His dark circles weren’t fading, and his hair had a soft tousled look. He felt his joints creak as he shifted on the tile floor. He felt Sam’s body join him before he saw his brother’s smile in the mirror.

That was when he really saw Sam relax, his shoulders slouched and the same dark circles dulling his skin. He hadn’t had the time to stop and really look at Sam for a long time. He had been too wound up in his own grip with mortality. Sam reached lazily for a toothbrush and rinsed it under the tap with toothpaste. Dean smiled back.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since their kiss, Dean is left feeling confused. What happens when Sam asks again.

Generally speaking, Dean wasn’t up for it right now. Sam had him cornered again in the shared room above Bobby’s.

“Dude, I don’t want to do this above Bobby’s room right now.”

Sam followed with a sigh and advanced. “Dean, just come here.”

Yeah yeah, I won’t hurt you. Like Dean is a wilting flower and can’t decide what he wants on his own. He lifted his arm to bat away Sam’s hand.

“Fuck off.”

Sam grunted his frustration. “Dean, tomorrow is your last fucking day! Just, give me this?”

The puppy charm was on again, and Dean could feel Sam’s gaze boring through his turned back. The guilt was intense, but Dean wasn’t sure if he was ready to kiss Sam again. The days between now and that kiss had given Dean the space to overthink something other than his own mortality. Something that he knew was there since always, but wasn’t sure if he wanted to encourage.

After a pregnant pause, Dean still didn’t know what to say to turn Sam off.

“Sam, I’m not your fucking teddy bear and I’m not your girlfriend!”

Dean wasn’t ready for Sam to reply with a sob.

“No Dean, you’re my brother.”

When he turned around, Sam was crying. Dean felt terrified. He was going to have to deal with this because Sam wanted to, even if it was the scariest thing he could ever admit to himself. Monsters: no problem. Himself: a terrifying landscape of unresolved bullshit emotions. He tried to keep it simple, but this was in no way simple.

“Sam.” Oh, fuck. How was he supposed to look into Sam’s eyes and not feel like a shit for the way he was acting?

Sam’s hand trembled towards Dean as Dean watched in desperate horror. He could feel the fear he had been pushing away creep up his spine and make his hairs stand on end.

“Just let me touch you? God, I don’t know how you can just say no right now. We have no idea how tomorrow will go.”

 

When Sam grabbed his hand it was like a shock of energy. He couldn’t move, paralyzed by every emotion he had been rejecting for the last year. This is what he hated. This is what he didn’t want.

“Dean? Dean!” Sam shook him. “Dean, come on! Stop it. Stop shutting up and be with me!”

Dean could feel tears burning behind his eyes, but he refused to cave. Instead he grabbed Sam and smashed their mouths together. At first it just hurt, and neither knew what to do. But Sam saved it quickly by grabbing Dean’s waist and pulling him closer.

Sam’s hands felt big and warm and strong, and Dean was pretty sure his probably did too. He opened his mouth against Sam’s and let his fingers smooth back and grip into Sam’s hair. When his brother replied with a gasp and his own tongue, Dean felt like he was made of fire.

No, Dean wasn’t his girlfriend or his teddy bear. Dean was his fucking brother, and Dean was a man. The way he devoured Sam’s mouth left no doubt about any of this. If Sam wanted one last intimate moment with his brother, this was it.

Dean pulled Sam’s hair to stop the kiss, momentarily leaving them gasping.

“Fuck all this bullshit, Sam.”

“I want this. You.”

Dean growled and Sam drew somehow closer, tighter. His hands wandered to Dean’s lower back, catching on his waistband like a tease. Dean could feel the fear threatening to creep up again, but chased it away by pushing his dick into Sam’s.

“Oh fuck, yeah. Dean.” Sam moaned as Dean took more control by gripping both sides of Sam’s hips and rutting into him. Sam’s grip slipped down to Dean’s ass and squeezed.

Feeling Sam’s cock, his vitality thrumming with energy against him, made Dean feel hyper aware of the life that they both held. It was powerful, overwhelming. To think that they both had blood in their veins and air rushing in and out of their lungs became novel. How much longer could he draw this out? His desire to devour and savor it all bubbled over in a cut-off moan and then they were kissing again.

Sam set the rhythm this time, leaning in for quick licks and sucks at Dean’s lips, leaning back enough in between to make them pull together and do it again. It was making Dean feel giddy and his cock harder. He moaned and lifted a hand to Sam’s face as a prompt for more. Deeper. Closer.

Their mouths finally met in a closed dance, never breaking more than millimeters apart in order to allow their tongues to move over each other. Both of them were caught up heavy, breathing short grunts and moans of pleasure between them as the friction of denim placated immediate need.

When Dean was totally lost in feeling, Sam broke away. The sudden change confused Dean, who only just noticed that Sam was working on his fly. He felt light headed as his gaze dropped to watch and feel strong hands pull his button and zipper open and down his thighs. He could feel Sam’s breath falling heavily on his chest and shivers race through his flesh. Sam pulled his underwear away next.

“Oh fuck,” was all Sam could say when he took in the sight of Dean’s manhood.

All semblance of modesty was out the window. Dean could feel his resolve break as Sam sank to his knees and softly kissed the thin flesh beside his cock. He was breathing heavy and getting dizzy with anticipation. He could feel Sam trembling too as his lips sought out to mouth at the tip of his length.

“Oh Fuck! ohfuckohfuck.” Dean lost all air as Sam suckled and licked slowly over the head of his dick. It was surreal. Out of control. Dean couldn’t wrap his head around it.

All he could do was shake and lose all thought as Sam began his earnest attempt to swallow his cock. He did his best to hold Sam’s head as he did this amazing thing, feeling Sam’s jaw and neck muscles move hypnotically. Holy fuck, Sam was giving him a blow job.

When Dean tuned into the world again momentarily, it was obvious that Sam was also enjoying it. He was moaning around Dean’s cock, one hand around Dean and the other rubbing his own length through his boxers.

But Dean wasn’t sure if he could be standing up like he was when then end came. The last thing his mostly-not-there brain wanted was to fall on Sam with his dick down his throat.

“Sa-Sam. Sam. Sam I have to sit down. Sit down, or else I’ll fall.”

Sam whimpered when Dean pulled his hips away, but let his dick slip away from his lips. Their eyes met, and Dean found himself lost in the dark black lust of Sam’s gaze.

“Sit the fuck down already, Dean.”

Dean took the one step back and sat on the bed. He found his gaze locking onto Sam’s weeping cock. The damp patch on his underwear was impressive.

“You sure you want it to go this way Sam? Do you want my help with that?”

Sam’s reply was to shuffle forward and swallow down Dean’s cock again. Stars blurred his vision.

It was then that Sam set up a perfect sucking rhythm, a nasty slurp highlighting the act on every upstroke. That was when Dean lost control of his legs. They felt wiggly and the blood rushing through him made him shake with its energy. He couldn’t remember getting a blow-job this good.

Sam somehow remained manly sucking on his dick, his jaw and strong cheekbones becoming pronounced in the act. Dean held onto his head for dear life, trying his best to not just thrust down Sam’s throat. Everything else was becoming involuntary very quickly.

Before he could notice it, Dean was coming with a loud moan, and Sam was sucking it all down with his own growls.

As the daze cleared, Dean’s thoughts came together again and he sighed.

“God, that was fucked up.”

When the room came into view, Sam rose from his position on the floor. He pushed close into Dean, as if he were hoping to slither under Dean’s flannel and flesh. He held Dean tightly, from cheek to toe as they breathed through the aftershocks.

Deep into his ear well, Sam whispered, “Not as fucked up as it will be.”


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Since they went to the next level, how will they ground their relationship again?

Dean wasn’t quite sure what to make of that last murmur from Sam. Any kind of relief from that awesome blowjob was scattered away by the ominous remark. They laid still and sticky for a minute or two before Dean was sure his head was clear enough to proceed.

“… What do you mean?”

Sam’s breath was even and shallow by his ear.

“Sam?” Dean wiggled the shoulder under Sam’s chest in an effort to rustle up an answer.

“Hmm? Dean?”

It was as if Sam had been asleep. His leg twitched and he huffed out a sigh before Sam lifted himself slowly. He looked down at Dean, drowsy and sated.

“Hey” was all that escaped his lips before Sam’s faced twisted into that of a rotten corpse, sick smile twisting up his cheek and eyes burnt out. It quickly shimmered back to Sam’s soft face as soon as it had arrived.

Dean suddenly felt alone.

“Hey.”

“You ask something?”

“Yeah, when are you getting off of me?”

Sam huffed again and peeled himself away. Luckily their clothes had absorbed the sweat, but it left them feeling like they had sat in the sun for too long. Dean rose up and tried to relax.

“Yuck.” Sam squirmed as he tried to do up his fly. “Maybe it would be better to change…”

Dean was faced again with what they had just done. Sam came in his underwear. Sam came barely touched. Sam came sucking his cock, …barely touched. Holy shit. How long had Sam liked blowing guys? Did Sam like that kind of thing, or was it just for Dean?

And more importantly, how long had Sam wanted to suck Dean’s cock? Was it just a heat of the moment thing, or had he fantasized about it? Sam had been pushing this intimacy on them recently after all. It wasn’t like Dean had ever considered this. Never.

Sam began peeling off his pants, and Dean was overwhelmed. Naked meant more now. Seeing Sam’s naked body made it more real somehow. Dean had had sex with that body, the body of his younger brother. He found himself flinching away a bit.

“I’m going to pop in the shower before bed….” Sam stood and glanced down at Dean’s nakedness and back up again, a blush spreading up from his shirt collar to his ears. “… wanna come?”

“Um, …nah. I’m cool.” Was all Dean could stutter out. I’m cool? What kind of lame answer was that?

“Okay. I’ll be back.” Sam turned and left the room. Luckily there was a bathroom just for them upstairs and across the hallway. They didn’t need Bobby complicating this whole thing.

With Sam gone, Dean could take a moment alone to center himself. He gazed down at his now limp member, peeking pathetically from between his legs. It was hard to look at the slight glisten he knew was a combination of Sam’s spit and his come. After a second he quickly pulled up his pants and stood.

What now? He could hear the shower spitting, and he couldn’t help thinking about Sam’s massive shoulders rolling under the spray. He ran a hand through his hair, now wet with sweat, and wondered what the fuck was wrong with him.

It was only hours until he was going to be ripped away into Hell. What was the point of all of this? Why did Sam think of pushing them into this new spot? What was this new spot even? This spot where his dick got hard from touching Sam, kissing Sam, and Sam sucking him off. He didn’t know how to locate his sexuality anymore.

Dean was pacing without noticing. Well, until now. Stopping brought clarity, and he realized the answer to it all. He loved Sam, and Sam loved him. And this was some sort of deranged coping mechanism for the both of them. Some brief way of holding onto a piece of each other so memorable that even in Hell, Dean would remember.

What were they? Women?

Dean wondered if he could dismiss these feelings in his usual way. Winchesters weren’t just macho men who ran in to hack and slash evil shit. He never thought it was that black and white. They cared. That’s what made them heroes. They cared about people, and this world. They fought evil so that the rest of the world could live without ever knowing that horror.

But what did they ever do to save themselves? Bobby was right, they were constantly jumping headlong into stupid situations. Stupid situations that would likely get them killed. But they did it together, side by side. They cared about everyone else but themselves, together.

So it was weird that they were fighting for themselves for once. It was weird that Sam was asking for something more from Dean than the usual brotherly bullshit. It was slowly dawning on him that what Sam was asking for was the core of their relationship. He didn’t want the macho cover from Dean, he just wanted that raw bond they shared. The one that let them fight together in sync against a nest of vampires. The one that helped them patch each other up with stitches and gentle hands. The one that allowed forgiveness to act as quickly as a fight.

Sam was asking for that one last jewel of love.

Dean was grabbing his towel from the desk chair and walking out of the room before he thought anymore. When he reached the bathroom door, it was open. The sound of the shower grew louder as he gently opened it and stepped into the fog. The bathroom all of a sudden felt too small.

“Dean?”

He tried to gather himself. Yes, you are doing this. Whatever this is.

“Mind if I jump in too?” Dean pulled his shirt over his head and started opening his pants. There was a slight pause and jerky movements as if Sam was washing the soap from his eyes.

“Sure.” It sounded as if he was talking into his hands. It sounded so casual.

When fully naked, Dean tentatively pulled at the shower curtain to peek inside. Sam’s back was facing him and his head was under the spray. Sam was huge, but they were going to make this work. They had before, even covered with monster guk. It hadn’t meant the same thing back then though.

He hopped in, but kept away from the spray and Sam’s tight butt.

“Hey, wanna let me under there for a bit?”

Sam dragged a hand over his face to clear the water and turned to Dean. Dean tried his best to not freeze and stare as Sam replied, “Yeah, sure, scoot by me,” and flattened his back to the wall of the shower.

It meant that Dean was going to pass by Sam’s dick. He gave it a quick worried look before he caught himself and looked away. Clearing his throat, he moved forward, business-like with his ass facing Sam. He quickly turned into the spray and got himself wet. Sam moved behind him to where Dean was before.

Dean felt a cold plastic bottle against his back.

“Here’s the shampoo.”

Dean reached behind him and grabbed it from Sam. “Thanks.”

“Do you need any help with that?”

Dean sputtered out the same lame response as before. “Naw, I’m cool.”

“Hey, move a bit?” was all Sam gave him as warning as he loomed over Dean’s back and stuck the loofa under the spray below Dean’s head. It was a glimmer of intimacy. Dean could almost feel Sam’s weight even though their skin didn’t touch. He didn’t get a chance to move too much, and then Sam was pulling away and soaping up.

Dean rinsed his hair and face thoroughly. Before he could decide how to turn around and get the loofa from Sam, Sam already had it scrubbing between his shoulders.

“Shall I do your back?” Sam felt really close.

“Yeah, sure.” What else could he say?

As the loofa reached his lower back Sam paused, still making circles. “Dean?”

Dean could feel something deep in his abdomen, hot and prickling. His heart sped up and his dick twitched.

“Sam?” He didn’t know what Sam was asking for, or what he was asking back. It was almost as if they were testing each other. He felt himself push back into Sam’s touch.

“Shit, Dean. Can I?” Sam said this quietly, as he circled the loofa down around the globes of Dean’s ass. It was warm and sensitive there.

Dean moaned in defeat and Sam pulled himself closer. Dean could feel his breath on the back of his neck.

“God, Dean. I’m sorry.”

Dean knew what he meant. Sam was sorry that he was pushing Dean, sorry that Dean had to have the weight of Hell on his shoulders, sorry that Sam wanted to do these things with him. Dean moaned in frustration and pushed back into Sam’s hand.

“Shut up, Sam.”

Sam rolled the loofa up to his hips and down his thighs while Dean closed his eyes and savored the touch. Dean moaned softly as encouragement and leaned back into Sam. In return, Sam moved the loofa around his waist and made soft circles around his chest.

Dean could feel his dick getting hard again, and he arched his back in an effort to keep Sam’s hand away from it. He figured out it wasn’t the smartest move, as Dean felt the pull of arousal stretch up his spine and his ass push into Sam’s equally hard dick. Sam was quick, and moved his circling hand down into the hairs that bordered Dean’s groin.

Dean felt overwhelmed and turned his head away from Sam’s nuzzling nose. Sam’s hand kept hovering and Dean moaned again.

Whispered in his ear, Sam asked again. “Dean?”

Dean shivered this time, and pushed his ass into Sam’s dick. He wasn’t supposed to want this kind of thing. Dean was a macho, heterosexual male. But here in this shower with only hours to go, he wanted it. Sam’s other hand had just been resting softly on Dean’s thigh, but Dean grabbed it and moved it to his waist.

Sam released a puff of breath before he started to kiss and bite Dean’s neck. Dean’s extra hand went to the shower wall for support and Sam’s loofa started curling around his cock. Sam moved the loofa around his shaft and down behind his balls, while he rubbed his dick into Dean’s lower back.

Sam moaned this time and realigned his hips so that his dick went down between Dean’s legs and nudged his balls.

“Oh, fuck. Sam.” Dean didn’t know what was wrong with him. He wasn’t thinking at all actually, just following the arousal that made his blood pump faster. Sam’s big hands felt great pushing him to bend down so Sam could have a better angle.

Sam dropped the loofa and held Dean’s hips as he kept nudging into his sack. Dean shook and reached his free hand down to maneuver their dicks together. It meant sticking his ass up, but sliding his soapy cock against Sam’s was definitely worth it.

Dean did his best to tune out the lewd slap that rang from the tiled walls every time Sam’s pelvis met his ass. God, it was like Sam was fucking him. Each slap sent a resonant sting of pleasurable pain to his cock and made it harder to hold on. As soon as Sam started in harder, Dean lost a proper grip on both of their dicks and the head of Sam’s cock started nudging into his ass.

When it bumped particularly hard into his anus, Dean yelped and flinched away.

“Fuck. Sorry Dean.”

“Shit, Sam. Watch it.” Dean leered over his shoulder at Sam. Sam looked wrecked with lust and was breathing like he had just run a race. God, he was beautiful.

Unable to stop himself, Dean turned around and slammed his lips into Sam’s.  
The first thing Dean noticed was how big and wet both of them were, then how easy it was to have messy kisses with both of their faces already wet. The third thing he noticed was that Sam tasted like blood.

But it was hard to stop on that note when Sam’s tongue was chasing down his throat. Dean stopped everything else; stopped touching Sam all over and rutting into him. But Sam didn’t notice and kept on going. Kept on fucking Dean’s mouth with his tongue while Dean held on and sucked back.

Sam took up the responsibility of rubbing their cocks together; gripping Dean’s hips tight to him and grinding up harder with each thrust. Dean couldn’t help but moan, even with his hands loose at his sides and blood dripping from Sam’s lips and down his throat.

If Dean was doomed to Hell any moment, he might as well be there now. The moment felt so tainted it made him loose all conscious thought. It was blowing his mind having his brother sneak his thumb down behind his balls and snag on his anus while feeding him blood through the nastiest kiss Dean could imagine. All that escaped his mouth was his breath and a small cry.

Sam pushed his thumb deeper, sucked Dean’s tongue into his mouth and moaned around it. That’s when Dean lost it. Nerves prickling all the way from his ass up to his scalp as he quivered in Sam’s strong grip. He was quivering with the shame of it. A blush crept up from his chest and when he fell from his high all he wanted to do was get the fuck out of there.

“Oh fuck, Dean.”

But then Sam was coming on his stomach and Dean’s now limp dick while his big hands held Dean standing.

The silence that held afterwards made their breathing sound ten times as loud. Dean felt like he was in shock until Sam ended it all.

“Only you Dean.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading all the way to the end. It was intent with this story to court with the strangeness of Dean's position - that in being close to the edge of death, everything in his perceived world began to blur in respect to certain codes of intimacy and morality. That in being close to death and Hell, the world around him began to crumble away from its usual structure.   
> Although Sam represents something good and pure, with the development of their relationship at such a vulnerable time (in the space-time continuum of Dean's world), the edges of Hell compromise and taint his good intentions. This leaves both of them at a struggling point where they are both eager to open up and be understood by each other, but ultimately are left with conflicting feelings: Sam feels closer to Dean, while Dean feels even more unmoored from this world.   
> I felt that this stayed true to their constant fight throughout season 3 regarding each of their battles to be close to each other despite their different ideas of how to do that. It also leaves something to be resolved in season 4 when Dean returns to find Sam with someone else and deceiving his trust in a new way.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed the story so far. Things are about to get a bit darker too.
> 
> Originally posted here: http://skin-weaver.livejournal.com/1971.html in December, 2014


End file.
